she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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