Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
