Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
