I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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