I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cannot find my penis.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
