his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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