No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
