i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
