remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
