I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
