sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If i come over, it means nothing
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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