she was so not down for the gang bang
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
