sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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