Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
