Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
