It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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