would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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