Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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