the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
