I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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