oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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