This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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