well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
