When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
