Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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