you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
