How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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