i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
