i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
