What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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