James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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