Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
