ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
