Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
