its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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