Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
