Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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