This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize