You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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