You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's blow job season.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
