well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
