Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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