her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
