I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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