Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
