Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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