I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
