You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
