i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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