If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
