Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
