So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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