my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
