garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
