Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
