I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
