her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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