i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
