Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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