Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
